Little 1 .

  rain-fall 

giggles at

good and bad

parents



M P

9 comments:


  1. maybe it should be "rain fall"

    or "rain-fall" and dreams could be replaced with "studies", or "giggles at"

    "giggles at" ?

    well, it was just a thing to you know .

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  2. rain-falls of good and bad dreams?

    i reckon hyphenate to make rainfalls an object in and of itself rather than rain which is doing something by falling, is this how grammar works or have i made that up

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  3. grammar is irrelevant here. I agree on rain-fall, I will alterate it later if that is allowed

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  4. sorry, i meant to say

    "rain-fall
    dreams"

    but perhaps this is getting a bit pernickety, i will try and stick to useful comments, your grammar is your own... and as you said, irrelavant here.

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  5. i think it was going to be falls/ dreams so that is two verbs I suppose .

    this is a place to be pernickety, mr kevins per mile, so carry on.

    but what about the studies or giggles at ?

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  6. This is fantastic stuff...Im enjoying the updates...

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  7. OK. I am going to alter this poem, in real time, like some sort of stripper. Here is what it was:

    rain falls
    dreams

    of good

    and bad

    parents


    and now I shall make it what it shall become

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  8. it seems I managed to make it better?

    that is what I feel, 2 years from then

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