Johnny Cash
Hands move ‘cross piano
Like old man in love
With piano
Johnny cash
you popstar you,
Tell me of the west
you won
And the price
Down to last nickel
And dime store indian
Johnny cashed up for the night
His winnings
in desert shine
Of a sunbleached mirage.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I am glad you have decided to post!
ReplyDeleteI like this poem.
I like this too . It works as it has a concrete centre . The second poem above doesnt work for me - I can't find a way into it, there is a feeling it is more a set of lyrics to music I cannot hear.
ReplyDelete- perhaps you could give me something to go on, in the comments for the second poem, and we can start to discuss it ?
- and, I would like to see a series of poems following this Cash one, where you can use your musical words, and maybe bring in the rimbaud one also, which has similarities. it could be called "the dead and their instruments" or something like that .
that's a good title...
ReplyDeletei think what you say about adventures is valid, and you are the second person to suggest some problem. but i'd rather rewrite it than try and explain it - if an explanation is necessary it doesn't work.
i like johnny cash but kind've feel it's a bit silly. and the idea of a series of tribute poems seems a bit wank. maybe a long poem incorporating them in a howlish type of way would be ok.
yes, a long poem would be good for this. A rambling roam through the desert.
ReplyDeleteah yes i thought you meant something like they want you to write in a class 'write a series of poems exploring similar themes' my apologies mr, for lumping you with such people
ReplyDeleteStill like this after all the time. Just the apostrophe thing on cross I would remove.
ReplyDelete"And the price
Down to last nickel"
I don't know why but they are perfect lines.
"hands move cross piano
like old man in love
with piano"
also perfect lines.
We miss you kevin